Having set up my own nursery in the UK, I have helped settle hundreds of children into school but when it came to my own daughter starting, we found ourselves in a new country and away from everything I knew about the process.
My daughter was 18 months when we moved to Portugal. I wanted to come a full year before she would be starting school so that we had time to go once through all the seasons before committing. Two years down the line, we are still here, my daughter skips into her school every day and I don’t regret the decision to move for a minute but starting school away from our support network was a big milestone.
Once my daughter’s place was confirmed, the doubts crept in.
What if it’s not right? What if they don’t get her? What if she hates it…maybe she’s not ready, I’ll keep her at home forever!!
OK maybe that was a little bit irrational but what I did know for sure was that I needed to be 100% behind it before I could sell it to her! I emailed the school and asked for her teachers name and over the summer I would casually drop in a “Oh, I wonder what Miss M likes to eat for breakfast?” So that, when she came to meet her in September, her name was familiar in our house and that my daughter was meeting her with curiosity.
Apart from that, I really didn’t talk too much about school until a few weeks before. At this age, a summer is a lifetime, and the unknown can grow into anxiety, so I tried hard to stay in the moment and enjoy the summer without talk of it ever ending! We read plenty of stories about starting school (a curated list below) but not in the context of her first day looming.
I am a stickler for routine. Keeping things safe and simple in the days leading up to the new term was important. I wanted her to be in a good sleep routine and I made sure everything was ready for the first day well ahead of time so that there was no mad rush the day before. I even planned out our route. I thought planning to arrive early would be helpful so that we could have a chance to familiarise ourselves with the new environment, locate the classroom, and get a feel for the layout of the school before the crowds arrive.
The first day approached, it was an unusually rainy one for Portugal but I had everything together, we were both feeling calm and full of nervous excitement until…
I got us into my car and soon realised I had a flat tire….!! Lesson learnt, you can’t control everything and thanks to Uber, we made it with good time to take an obligatory first day of school photo to send home. My daughter waltzed in confidently and asked the teacher what her favourite colour was. I must admit I was a bag of nerves and felt very emotional, but I didn’t need to be. I took my daughter’s lead and indulged in the fact that I had the teacher’s email address. For those first few weeks, I didn’t hold back. We laughed about it at the Christmas parent-teacher meeting, but I wouldn’t have got through it any other way.
Recommended Books:
- Starting School by Janet and Allan Ahlberg
- Come to school too Blue kangaroo by Emma Chichester Clark
- The Colour Monster Goes to School by Ana Llenas
- Going to school by Anne Civardi, Stephen Cartwright
- Let’s get Ready for School by Jane Porter and Carolina Rabei
- Pearl Goes to Preschool by Julie Fortenberry
- All are welcome by Alexandra Penfold
- The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn